Since I've been gone....

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged anything.  May of 2017 to be exact.  Wow a whole heck of a lot has happened since then.  You can check out my Instagram @the_blue_phoenix if you want to see what we have been up to.  Baby Fish is doing amazing, she’s grown up so much!  She talks a lot and is a drill sergeant when I work out!  She likes to yell at me to do more pushups, burpees and to run faster.  With her as a trainer I’m sure I will do amazing things with my running. Yes, that’s right, I’m now a runner. I still can’t believe it myself sometimes.  Since February 2017 I have dropped 40lbs and have increased my speed and endurance. 2019 is going to be my year; in more ways than one.

In February 2018 I had surgery, after having Baby Fish my cycles were totally screwy and I was having some other issues. Turns out my uterus had a kink in it, so I had my tubes tied and an ablation.  Although that has not totally stopped my monthly it has made it a lot less intense which makes life a ton easier.  It was very hard to get over the loss of my fertility, especially after the frustrations and heartache of trying to get pregnant with Baby Fish.  My marriage had been on the rocks for quite some time, and this really made things worse.  I’m not going into details but by the end of April I told Baby Fish’s dad I wanted a divorce and she and I were forced to move out of his house and into my parents’ house.  It was hard to not have a job and income.  Another hard hit was not being able to bring Fergus with us.  He ended up going to a foster home where he was very loved.

Over the summer I was able to interview for and be offered a job in a high school library.  It’s a dream job really and I started in August 2018.  I love it so much (and according to my boss I’m amazing at it) that I then applied and was accepted to online Graduate School at UCM at Warrensburg where I will pursue my MS Library Science and a teaching certificate! 

After starting my job, I also started looking for a living situation that was NOT with my parents.  I was able to find an amazing house not far from them that was for rent.  My landlords are so awesome that I was allowed to fix up the house with the paint and finishes I wanted so that it truly felt like home for Baby Fish and me.  I’m excited to do more projects this spring as I spent 2 months getting the interior fixed up before we moved in. Kiddo loves her room, and we also brought home two kitten sisters.  Fergus sadly passed away Thanksgiving weekend, a week before I was going to be able to bring him home.

There are a lot of changes now that I am single and on my own, one is being without internet unless I have my cell phone hot spot on, that is still taking some getting used to.  I still don’t have a TV, so my computer serves as a way for me to watch movies when I’m not doing homework.  There are days I wish I had a TV, so I could have noise in the background while I was doing projects around the house, and there are days I am glad I don’t have the distraction.  Not having a movie playing while I am doing homework is probably a good thing.

Although I did not list this as one of my New Year’s Resolutions I do want to get back into blogging again. Maybe not as often as I have in the past, but more often than I have been. 

So there is my quick catch-up for anyone that is still following my blog after my hiatus.

Photo Challenge 2017

It's time again for this years Photo Challenge!  I will be posting my pictures on Instagram and you can share yours there, and see mine!  The hashtag to use this year is #MsFishsPhotoChallenge2017 and I hope you decide to join me!  Here is the list of the pictures...

And this is the calendar I will be using. I am again skipping the 4th of July.

I have also started a Google Calendar for the photos so I get a reminder each day with the photo number and what the photo should be.  It's just easier that way especially with a busy kiddo!!!  You can see this calendar here, and if you want to be added to the calendar just comment with your email address and I will add you!

Being a new mommy

One of the things that you learn quickly once you become pregnant is that everyone has an opinion....about your pregnancy, about your body, breast or bottle, cloth or disposable...All advice can be taken or left.  You don't need to explain your decisions as a parent and lets be honest, most people who are already parents or have a few years of experience should remember what it was like to have unsolicited advice shoved at them every 5 minutes....but that is neither here nor there.

A friend of mine (who's advice I take 99.9% of the time) sent me a great article on things your crying baby wants you to know.  It's a good read and worth the time. I can guarantee you won't spoil a new baby by picking them up when they cry, or by loving on them!

Difficult Decisions

Our dogs are like family.  When I rescued Hammond from some bad owners he fit right in to our family. I thought I would find  someone to take him, but time passed and he stayed with us.

I don't know his full history, and honestly I don't want to know.  I do know he was very mistreated so when he got here he loved running around the backyard and playing with Fergus.

And he loved snuggling and loving.

Even when we brought Baby Fish home, he seemed to adjust without a problem.

Unfortunately a few months afterwords he started obsessively chewing his paws.  And when we would get on the floor to play he would push Baby Fish out of the way and get between us.  Not exactly the best behavior around a baby.  He liked her petting him when it was on his terms, otherwise he would snarl at her.  Once that happened I became even more vigilant at not allowing them to be alone together, and started talking to friends about re-homing him.  I was not about to risk my daughter getting bit.  Tonight there was an incident that was too close for my liking.  So with a heavy heart I started calling rescues to figure out where he can go, because I don't trust him anymore.  One local rescue I contacted wanted $1000 to take him immediately and it was a $300 "donation" for them to help find a home while he stayed with us.  Others couldn't take him because I didn't live in their area, or couldn't take him till the end of the month.  I had one last option.  Megan's Paws and Claws.  Although they do not take owner surrender anymore they were kind enough to post on their page that we needed a new home for him ASAP. There, of course, were the standard "did she try ____" it was so hard to not respond myself and say, hey, I'm NOT risking my daughter getting bit period. If you aren't commenting that you are interested then move along.  I had two potential adopters for him, and chose a wonderful lady that lives very close by so I can keep in touch.

Love you buddy.

You tart!

She loves raw apple

Fall is finally here! Even though it's technically been here for a few weeks the weather is finally cooperating so that I can bake! I have been wanting to do a rustic tart for quite some time, so today I put Baby Fish on the counter and got out everything I needed to make a apple tart from scratch.

To feed or not to feed....

Holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year.  Time to start planning the menus from the food you want to serve to deciding between coctails, or mocktails.

Photo from www.myvmc.com/

Facebook Food

Of all of the things on Facebook right now my favorite to see are the various recipes.  I have several friends that love sharing the yummy treats they see...my stomach says yes, my hips say no...I have pinned several of them on my Pinterest boards including the Shepherd's Pie Potato Skins!

Photo from Tip Hero

Because Caaaarbs...

Oh internet, why do you do this to me?  Easy No Knead Bread...Artisan Bread....I want to eat all of the carbs...

Dill weed!

Our garden is doing alright this year, some things are thriving, and others, eh not so much.  One thing that is producing a lot is our cucumbers.  There are some that are super big...

I'm perfect the way I am

One of the things that happens when you're public on social media is that you get contacted by all sorts of people. Since having my daughter I've had a lot of people reach out to me offering it-works wraps, shakes, 21-day fix programs, free coaching. I know is is their job to reach out to people and offer their product. But come on I just had a baby, okay four months ago I had a baby, but it's still a
very delicate time in a woman's life and it doesn't help when people keep asking if I want to lose weight or join their team.

I don't need a quick fix or wraps. I don't want to join your team. I'm perfect the way I am. Asking if I need a personal coach feels like you are saying I'm fat and don't know how to fix it.  I'm perfect the way I am. This body carried my daughter for almost 42 weeks, it is still sustaining her by making milk. I'm perfect the way I am.

And if I don't think I'm perfect, that is for me to decide when to do something about it. Not for some stranger to make me question the way I look.  For the record, no I don't like the weight I am right now, I don't like that I still can't fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  It took 9 months to put the weight on, it will probably take just as long.  Society makes us feel like we have to get back to "perfect" the moment we pop our baby out.  We need to change the image of "perfection" and take care of our kiddos.

UPDATE: After posting this I was stunned that it was re-posted by a Take Back Postpartum.  I am so blown away by the responses I have received and the positive messages.  I am also stunned that some people are so oblivious...After I said no this is the DM I was getting on Instagram.

There are no words for how pushy these people are.  Just STOP!

I want to eat everything

Wow, I thought I had a hearty appetite when I was pregnant!  Now 3 plus months into breastfeeding I want to eat all the time!!!  And facebook doesn't help matters any.  There are a ton of tasty videos floating around the interwebs with some awesome recipes...mostly desserts...like this one:

More lactation cookies

I've been having great success with the lactation cookies I made back in February. So of course my stock is running low.  I did some research on making a different kind of cookie.  I found a pin on Pinterest that has very vague directions.  So I decided to give it a try.

Oh cloth diapers...

When we I decided to use cloth diapers there were a lot of naysayers.  It's gonna cost us in water/detergent/time etc.  Well yeah stuffing pockets is a time suck, as is the actual laundering of said fluff.  But after a few months in cloth I noticed that our water bill has only gone up  an average of $4 for a month.

Dear fashion industry....

I have one thing to say to you. 

Cream of Whatever

One of the items I tend to stock up on is Cream of Mushroom with Garlic for cooking, and Cream of Chicken with herbs...well I needed a can and guess what?  Yup, no cans of cream of anything...well that wouldn't do because taking the wee one back out just for ONE thing just seemed crazy.  So I did some searching and found a recipe for making cream soup substitute.  And the best thing is I had everything on hand already! Of course I didn't follow the recipe exactly.  Mainly because the recipe I needed the cream soup for was a beef recipe and the original recipe called for chicken stock....so I changed it up a little. As the original recipe states, this makes the equivilant to one 10.75oz can of cream of ______.

I get to do a project!

Hello my readers!  I know it's been a while, but that's how it goes when you have a baby!  She's growing like crazy and changing every day!

If you have followed my blog at all over the last few years you are familiar with my pup Fergus, and his penchant for barking at EVERYTHING.  So much to the point that I've had to put in a window covering to block his view, and unfortunately mine.

Life after baby

Wow, time has flown by!  It seems like yesterday that I was posting about being pregnant, and then she was here!  It's hard to believe my little baby is almost 2 months old already!

My Sleeping Beauty

Looking back I can see how much my life has changed...for the better...or worse!

It's not always pretty

Parenting isn't always pretty. It's changing a diaper only to have to change it again before you even have it fastened. But you smile because your little one is giving you that gummy smile. 

It's stacks of clean laundry that never get put away because your baby doesn't want you to put them down. But you are proud you at least got it clean.

It's holding a screaming infant, not knowing why they are screaming or how to fix it other than whispering over and over "it's okay" and "Mama loves you" and kissing the top of their head when they finally tire out and fall asleep on your chest.

No, parenting isn't always pretty, but it's worth it!

Nobody told me...

Nobody told me that labor would be so hard. 

I wanted to run away and call it quits. 

But I didn't.

Nobody told me that being responsible for a newborn would be so hard. 

Where's my white flag? I can't do this! 

But I can.

Nobody told me that hearing your baby cry would rip your heart out. 

Why can't I make it stop? Why can't I fix it? 

But I try.

Nobody told me I would look at my husband, and fall for him all over again when he is saying silly things to our baby. 

But I did.

Nobody told me I would love that little human more than life itself.

But I do.

Nobody told me I would question myself every day. 

Am I a good mother? Am I doing this right? 

But I AM.

Photo Challenge 2016

As I stated on my last post of my 2015 Photo Challenge I am going to only post my daily photo on my Instagram account which will also post to Twitter and Facebook.  So if you'd like to follow along, here is the list for this year!  You can also use the links provided above to follow me on Instagram or Twitter.  If you want to participate I am starting a new hashtag, #MsFishsPhotoChallenge2016 so all of the daily photos are linked!!!

I am also attaching the calendar I am using for this year's challenge,  I am starting with my first photo on June 1st, and this will go through the end of August, skipping weekends and the 4th of July. For a total of 65 days, and 65 photos!!!

Hope you decide to have fun with me this summer!